ramblings of some things 2012 has taught me

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On Sunday morning while lounging around, mind wandering, I got to thinking about what I learned in 2012. That morning was basically a trip down memory lane now that I think about it. Thinking about the tidbits of last year and grape jelly toast for breakfast in grade school. Wild morning, right? I know.

Anywho... I always get so caught up with the excitement for what's to come in the new year and getting a fresh start. Like... wondering where will I be this time next year. Still in St. Pete or in a new city? Will I be visiting somewhere new? Will I finally get to explore NYC (seriously, when am I going to have the chance to go to the big apple...)? Will Joshua and I finally close the gap of our long distance relationship? These questions along with so many others are left to linger until the rest of the year unfolds. 

But one thing I learned in 2012, the one that sticks out the most, being in a long distance relationship is hard. 

When Joshua and I met, it really was just us two. And it was easy since we saw each other every day and it seemed like our time together was unlimited. Of course when talk of graduation and grad school started, the future began to get fuzzy. Then at the beginning of last year, we were pulled apart into what feels like a never ending abyss, and it sucks. Honestly it does, and it's probably the thing about 2012 that I dislike the most. But it helps to remember the good that comes out of it. 

Some things I've gathered from this experience:

Distance is a test of patience. In a long distance relationship, sometimes you don't know when you'll see each other next, and you might not know what will happen in the future. If you're like me, the unknown just eats away at you. As a test, it could break you if you let it, or you could stand up to it and build up some patience. It was hard at first, but like most things, it gets easier as you go. Distance is just distance, and that is that. 

Appreciate every moment. Every moment counts when you're in a LDR since time together is limited. Maybe we have just the weekend or maybe if we're lucky we have a week. I used to count down the days until Joshua had to leave, which does not help in any way AT ALL. So that was a note-to-self kind of moment: "don't dwell on the inevitable, start appreciating every moment". It's true, in a LDR or not, we should make the most of our time enjoying each other's company and not wasting unnecessary energy being upset.

"Anything you truly want must be worth fighting for". Sometimes when things get too hard, it feels like the easiest thing to do is to just to not do it. But when you really want something, you do what you can to make it work. The distance is temporary and the uphill battles you sometimes find yourself in... well, those are also just tests. 

I think this is one of those things that you have to look back on to fully feel grateful for. When we had it easy, it was also easy to lose sight of how strong bonds are. Sometimes it seems like the forces (in addition to the distance itself) are against us, and yet here we are standing together still. That’s got to mean something right? I think so.